by Brad Gigliotti
Disclaimer: The opinions and feelings expressed in this blog are those of the author and the author only, however if you feel the same you will understand that these feelings are COMMON and very much TRUE in the goalie world. Most of what is expressed is true based on the experiences the author had as a player, coach, mentor, and parent. If you would like to agree to disagree, please contact the author. Thank you!!
First and foremost, before I begin this blog, let me state the obvious for those who think everything has to be perfect in their life……..Perfectionism is a Mental Health Illness, there is no such thing as Perfect. We strive for Excellence and we live to be Perfectly IMPERFECT!!!
Ok now I will ask you the rhetorical question for you to think about while reading this blog.
What does ‘Perfect’ look like to you, albeit Game or Life?
I, personally suffer from Perfectionism every once in a while, but I have gotten better as I have come to realize the “Bigger Picture” in my life is more important to me than worrying if every chair is properly put in place or shoes placed in a specific spot in my house or all the dishes are clean and put away. The ‘Bigger Picture’ is my medication to keep what’s important in my life in the windshield, while all of my personal issues and “Perfect Life” mentality is sitting in my rearview mirror.
So WHY am I writing this blog….and I answer you this….I recently took a spring break vacation with my family to the Bahamas where we had a chance to experience a day at sea, a day in port at Nassau, and a day at Coco Cay (A Royal Caribbean Island) loaded with all sorts of cool things to do. Those who know me, know that I HATE and DESPISE Spring Break during the lacrosse season…because lets be honest most teams go through tryouts, players are selected, you go through 2 weeks of practice maybe a scrimmage or 2 and possibly a game and then POOF, all those kids go away on spring break and forget about lacrosse and trying to be a team. Upon their return it’s like one game after another and no time to get better. Anyways I could go on and on about the negatives about going on Spring Break, but not today. Today I am going to explain why I actually enjoyed this Spring Break trip. A lot of this has to do with MY “Bigger Picture”, and in my picture is spending time with my FAMILY. Family is huge, because they are the rock in my life when the rest of my life spins around, I can always rely on my crazy but awesome family to keep me grounded, otherwise I will feel overwhelmed by everything going on from work to training to helping others.
Here's how my story begins and what PERFECT means to me these days. Around 6am I was doing my daily workout in the gym when I heard some weird grin
ding and rumbling, I looked up to my fellow morning gym rats and we all looked at each other and were like, “well, we either ran aground, or we’re definitely coming into port at Coco Cay.” Due the size of the cruise ships, they have to back into port. What we were hearing was the thrusters and engines reversing into port, but why so loud, wellllllll it wasn’t quite warm and sunny. In fact, it was rather windy, making the water very choppy and difficult to navigate to get into place and dock. I got done with my workout, and did my usual thing and went up on the top deck to grab a coffee and watch us arriving into port. I won’t lie I almost lost my hat due to the wind up top, but I was still able to capture some pics coming into Coco Cay. Coco Cay is the premier destination for this cruise line since the Cruise Line owns the island. This island has everything anyone could dream of, water parks, snorkeling, side-by-sides, hot air balloons, private adult beach, a huge lagoon pool with swim up tiki bar, and plenty of places to just hang out and enjoy the day. BONUS is that most of the food and drinks come with your cruise package so all food and drink were included. This particular day is called “A Perfect Day at Coco Cay” because of everything I already mentioned above. The ironic part of it all is that you would think that no matter what, this island would sit in a bubble and is ALWAYS Sunny and 75, no clouds, a light sea breeze, and able to experience the entire island…….WRONG!!!!!!!
Reality hits…..the day’s weather hit a HIGH of 64 degrees, mostly cloudy, no sun, rained for
¾ of the day, and everything we brought got wet. There wasn’t a towel on the island that was dry, the wind was blowing about 20mph, the water was cold and choppy made for crappy snorkeling. It was the FARTHEST thing from “Perfect”. So what happened to me and my tribe….well we moved quickly from the beach to the pool, mainly because the pool temp was warmer than that of the ocean, but it also had a giant swim up tiki bar, where my wife and I hung out with some friends that we met on the cruise til we couldn’t do it anymore. The kids loved playing in the pool they had a great time meeting and playing with other kids, the adults shared stories about cruise experiences, a ton of laughs, and we just had a blast. The kids got hungry, took them to get food and they had everything a kid would love from Hot Dogs to burgers, chicken and of course Ice Cream. When we finally had enough and called it a day after being on the island for 4 hours, we get back to the boat, took warm showers, had a couple cocktails and went to dinner and we all agreed we had the BEST day ever given the situation. Not gonna lie, they said we had a PERFECT day, we were together as a family, we had fun, and that’s what A Perfect Day at Coco Cay was designed for, family fun for all.
The point of this story is that although the weather wasn’t perfect (Sunny and 75 and calm waters) we still had a great time despite the weather conditions. We were together as a family, we enjoyed time away from the boat, met new friends, and it met all of the elements in my Bigger Picture; so to me that was a PERFECT DAY!!!
So what’s Perfect, it’s what you make of the situation and how you navigate through adversity to still accomplish your goal or meet the components that make up the Bigger Picture, it’s what fills YOUR cup, not someone else’s cup.
In lacrosse or any other sport, there will be many times things just don’t go your way, the weather will not always be perfect, you may not have a coach that is on your side, but what fills your cup, what makes you feel accomplished for the day or situation. You may not have had an opportunity to play in the game, but you are still playing this amazing sport, you may not have shut out your opponent, but not everyone does, you may not win the game, but you had a KILLER performance regardless of the result on the scoreboard. Life is NEVER going to be perfect, but if you can adjust to the situation and make the most of it, as long as you are surrounded with people who make you feel good, who support you, and like you for who you are or you make the most of a crappy situation, that’s what Perfection Looks Like to ME!!
The only way to overcome Perfection is to keep the ‘Bigger Picture’ in the forefront. YOU control YOU and YOU make your own decisions. If you don’t like something, then change the narrative, the scene, the situation, and take charge of YOU. You want something bad enough, YOU go afte
r it and give it your all. No one is going to do it for you, because it’s not what they want, it’s what YOU want. You are in charge of your future, make it happen…..YOU GOT THIS!!!
“When we choose growth over Perfectionism, we immediately increase our shame resilience.”
- Brenee Brown